EX

Ex
Ex boyfriend, ex girlfriend, ex best friend
To you who promised,
Always and forever, forever and always
I guess that 'always' of yours
comes with an expiration date
And that 'forever' was never truly meant
Through thick and thin you said
But I guess my thin was too thin
My thick too thick
Because you couldn't handle it
To you my darling ex
"Fuck you, you ain't shit"
That's what I wanna say
But then again
You obviously meant shit
I obviously loved and adored you
Hence my anger and spite towards you
I Find it funny
How you post your feelings so publicly
Always making me out to be the bad guy
Right ?
Boo who
Talking bout how I hurt you
How I  didn't care and shit
Talking bout how I did you wrong
But you slacking on saying who screwed who all along
Talking bout how I chose someone over you
When all I ever did was appreciate you
You're Telling me how I meant the world to you
I guess to you the world
was more like a little toy globe
Because I didn't mean enough
Since now we're not even friends
And I got your ass blocked.
Hope my words feel like a cold ass slap
Feel what I felt.
Taste that blood of betrayal
That knife in my back
I now return it right back
Feel what I feel.
When you couldn't get me
When hurting me was easier than trying to comfort me
I pushed you away I know.
Thought you'd be better off.
But then you went and fucked up
How's it feel ?
Someone you loved
Isn't who you thought
You said you loved me
We dreamed of endless adventures
Traveling,
Seeing the world together,
Growing old together
Fuck you! For making me feel I could count on you
Making me depend on you
Giving me so much of you
Then taking it away
Then you go on and be the worst
A hypocrite
Talking bout all you did for me
Like I never stood by you
As if me comforting you
When the world turned its back on you
Was nothing. Like I meant nothing.
As if it was a one sided relationship
Does what I did for you not count ?
My love is somehow no longer valid ?
To you my ex
I say, Fuck you.
For being a damn liar
For being so damn deceitful.
I put you on a damn pedestal.
Now I look down on you
Back at you
Disgust and disappointment
Why make promises you can't keep?
Why not act on what you preach?
To you my ex
I'll never be replaced.
I hope you think of me
Every day every moment
I hope regret comes to greet you
When you look back on how you left me
In an ocean of madness. Drowning.
When you see I made it out alive.
Without you. 
Because that love of yours
Wasn't strong enough
And I wasn't worthy enough
I was too damned
Too broken
A natural disaster.
You couldn't stand by me any longer.
To you my ex
Wish you the best
 I guess

J. A. Burgundy

August 2015

Loving You

Loving you
Was like trying to tame a hurricane
It was us against each other
It was me trying to protect the home we built
Hoping you wouldn't hit
It was watching you take it up in your winds
In your waters of rage and fury
It was me trying to rebuild what was left
Just so you'd come and destroy it all over again
Loving you...
Was like gambling against what I knew would be the outcome
Letting you sweet talk me into believing
In a happy ending.

J. A. Burgundy

January 2015

You Never Believed Me

So many times I told you
How much I loved you
That my love was real and true
In so desperately trying to convince you
I tore my heart right out to show you
As if it would be written
As if it would be validated
I smiled, my smile faded
You still didn't believe me
I stood there breathing
Heavily then lightly
Why didn't you believe me?
My breathing almost fading
Till there was nothing
Just my heart in my hands
You crying over my sudden lack of breath

As if you had nothing to do with it

As if you were oblivious to what caused my death.

J. A. Burgundy

September 2015