On the Outside

Frustrated
Helpless
I'm feeling useless
I know
I have the control
The power
But that means nothing
When it comes down to those around me
I can't control them
I can't force them
To understand
To see things the way I see them
I can't give them my mentality
My strength
My advice falls weak
Words have no meaning
They're still hurting
He's still in pain
She's still suffering
They're in this maze
Lost
Nothing I say or do can help them out.
I feel useless
Helpless
Frustrated

J. A. Burgundy

December 2015

From Hate to Love, and Love to Hate

Here we go again
Hoping and pleading
Everything works out perfectly
This time
Then it hits me
The venom
Spreads and seeps through me
Everything begins to crumble inside
My walls they twitch they break
They begin to tumble
The venom poisons every happy thought
All the love between us
It corrupts.
Love turns to hate
Hope to deception
Romance to vengeance
I swear I never knew I was cruel
Never, Till I met you
I want to hurt you, Destroy you
Put you down,Throw you down
So far down you can't climb back up
Then laugh, Laugh sadistically
At you grasping Desperately
Trying to get out
You're reaching for me
Pleading for me 
Begging me to stop
I laugh some more
Pathetic.
That's what you get.
Depending on me?
You should've known better
Should've saw it coming
I did.
I knew better than to trust you
Trust you full heartedly
Completely
You didn't deserve it
What's this?
You still love me?
Please, I'm over it
Don't care for it
Time passes..
You aren't the same anymore?
You've changed?
Promises?
Hope...?
Oh goodness!
Yes,  okay let's do it!
Me and you against the world baby!
Me and you against them
Promise me, Never against us
Yes yes a million times yes!
I can see it all now, Our love so true
Feels so right inside
We're gonna make it this time
... what?
Insecurities again??
Insults and abuse?
You don't trust me?
You want me as your possession.
You'll be my destruction!
You promised....
You swore you wouldn't!
Said it'd be different..
You lied!!
What's worse,  I fell for it, again!
Selfish is what you are
Always believing the world revolves around you
You ready??
Don't test me !
You'll come back begging for me
Always making a mess of things
Expecting to be forgiven
Forgive and forget
Forget the past you say
Let's focus on the now you say
Oh of course my love
But you see,
you're still the same shit you used to be
Therefore then is now and now is then
And you were warned
I ain't doing this shit again
You were warned
I said don't push me!!
You'll regret it
Keep doing it see what happens
See who'll get the worst end of it
Oh you need me??
I'm you're reason for being?
Your happiness??
Aw my love...
Too little too late!
The venom, I can feel it..
The venom poisons every happy thought
all the love between us
It corrupts.
Love turns to hate
Hope to deception
Romance to vengeance
I swear I never knew I was cruel
Never, Till I met you.

J. A. Burgundy

May 2015

Wine, Whiskey, & the Color Burgundy

How to not think of you with pretty city lights 

The beautiful shimmer in the water at night

How can my mind not wander

You're in the moon and the stars

You're this colliding perfection

A  true wonder I never expected

You're a shooting star on a magical night, in a magical moment 

How to tell my soul not to recognize 

The beautiful melody that is us

A saxophone playing a sweet sultry sound 

You're in every note

Everywhere I dare to truly look

I'm with you and I feel a freedom 

A liberty I never knew of

You're a breath of fresh air

A walk on the beach

You're such a wonderful being

Your smile so illuminating

Your soul the just amount of crazy insanity

Full of adventure and spontaneity 

You're a glass of wine, and a shot of whiskey 

You're the color of burgundy

J. A. Burgundy

October 2015