Invisible Girl

Do you see her?
Hear her?
Is she there... is she not?
Do you know, do you care?
She stands next to you, but you don't notice
She speaks, but you choose not to hear
Everyone is aware
She's there
Though no one seems to really care
Yet, if they need someone 
She's suddenly the only one
She doesn't mind, she likes being there
When they go out, she's left out
All in couples, all but one
Doesn't matter, no one cares
She's like a first aid kit
You bring it along just in case
Don't really need it unless you get hurt
It's okay, she likes to heal and protect
She's there, and you know it
You hear her but pretend you didn't 
She's left out, all in doubles
All but one
Doesn't matter
She's invisible girl
                                                                                                                                                           2010

Lightning⚡

Lightning
It's quick
It hits
It creeps
It strikes
Gently
Then plenty
It's chaotic
It's wild
Yet at times subtle
It drives wonder
It's not good
It's Not Bad
It's neutral
Beautiful
Mighty
Lovely
Strikingly
Poetically
In its own Elegance
Lightning
                                                                                                                                                          2014

Tattoo❤

It's on my skin
It's on my lips
My heart and my soul
Inked by you
I remember asking you to
Give me a tattoo
You didn't want to
We were both drunk
Drunk on the vodka
Drunk on us
Said you didn't want to mess up
Now I lay here thinking
To that night
Regretting, wishing
You'd done it anyway
Because you still did
Your memory is inked all over me
Every crevice of my body
Your kiss like a needle
Still stings on my lips,
The ache remains a scar inside me,
And the ghost of your touch
Remains a mark on my skin
You didn't
But you did
You marked me all over
The difference is
Only I can feel it
And no one else can see it.
                                                                                                                                                          2015

Waiting

You're waiting.
For me to miss you
But I already do, 
I miss everything
I miss us.
Our bodies intertwined,
Professing you'd forever be mine,
The way we'd stare and get lost into each other,
The trailing kisses I'd leave from your nose to your eyes.
I miss sleeping by your side,
Feeling your warmth.
Feeling your love.
All of the above,
I miss.
Then, I remember this;
You broke me.
You hurt me.
Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically.
You destroyed me.
You made me feel crazy
Loving you was insanity
But, it was amazing
I just don't understand your love for me
It's stubborn, persistent, unwavering
But when you hurt me it appeared to have not existed
In that instant
You forgot your love
You let anger be your guide
Not the love you had for you and I
For us.
My trust
You shattered
My whole being
Shattered.
Our love,
To ash it burned.
You're waiting
for me to miss you
To let my heart decide 
to lead me back to you 
I already do.
Believe me it does.
It could be more naive
It could let itself flee
To return to you
But then you'd do what you do 
You'd consume and destroy it all over again
Knowledge is Bliss
Experience is bitter
And loving you was madness
It was intense
but, I don't regret it
Like fire
You burned my skin with lust filled passion
Like water
you drowned me in your possession
I was air
You took my breath away, left me breathless
You consumed me
and then i just couldn't breathe
I burned. I drowned. 
And my last breath had been taken
Your sweet words,
are sweet nothings
Your beautiful promises,
are empty
and all that is left
is all this.
Our love.
In the ashes.
Our love is not a phoenix,
it will not resurrect. 
You're waiting.
I know it.
I'm waiting too
Waiting to forget you
Waiting till I no longer miss you
Waiting till your memory no longer stings me
Waiting till you realize that this time,
You really did lose me completely.
                                                                                                                            2015

Those Damn Bad Boys

They're ass holes, jerks, insensitive, careless, and for some reason so damn attractive. Then we complain about how guys are such ass holes yet here we are drooling over them. Our logic ladies and gents.
In many shows that I've watched, The Vampire Diaries for example, I find myself rooting for the bad boy, which in this case, Damon. I mean duh he's so damn hot! Though I feel if the roles were reversed and he was suddenly all nice and good, he wouldn't be as attractive. Why the hell  is that?? Maybe because the fact that he's so broken? Yet Stefan has gone through almost the same thing. Though it's in the way they handle themselves. One decides to care for others, the other decides to give no damn about no one. Bad boys aren't the type to fall in love, they just mess around, detached, without involving themselves too much with one person. Yet every girl wants to be that one girl that changes him, that makes this huge impact. The good guy is easy to love and to return that love. You expect it.  Though bad boys are the complete opposite, they don't even give a girl a chance at winning their heart. Unless they find the doppelganger of the one person they did ever fall for then you know shits bound to happen. (Vampire Diaries reference) When and if they do fall for a girl, its usually because the girls so damn stuck on caring for them, they admire their counterpart, they feel they are finally cared for, that finally someone sees there's more beneath them, and that someone believes in them. They're secretly emotional. We are attracted to their bad boy facade and hope that we can penetrate that front they put up. They're intense, they're passionate, and have such a way with words. They're the biggest temptation. After all it is usually that which we feel we can't attain that draws us even more. Its stupid to go after what you know will probably hurt you in the end. Though in the end a bad boy is just lost. A lost little boy who has lacked the care, the affection. He's damaged, and broken inside.
 What happened to him that has him so angry at the world? Who caused him so much hurt? Will he ever let me in and trust to tell me?  These are questions I asked myself when I found myself in the predicament of being attracted to a bad boy. They remind me so much of little boys for some reason. Sure they have that tough bad ass exterior, but you can always see it in their eyes. Trust me, look them in the eye and you can see their childhood, no matter if he's good or bad. You can see the damage or the joy, their inner child is always present in their eyes. So you wonder if you can bring him out of the hurt he's felt, if you can be the one to numb his pain, the one who he can finally trust, finally let in. The one to be the demise of his fury, his hate. Yet, you're gambling, because if you're not the one, you'll be the one broken after. Bad boys. They're a risk. They are dangerous, yet it is that very danger that lures us to them. Damn Bad Boys. 
May reason and logic be in your favor.
Blessed Be,

Joanna Arlené

Religion & Beliefs

A friend and I were approached by a man, who was spreading the word of God, he was Christian. I personally don't favor that religion, I have my own religion, Wicca. Though I allowed this man to approach me, at first I didn't mind, I am very accepting of different varieties of point of views, beliefs, and religions. As long as you don't judge me or try to change me I don't mind. When he asked me what my religion was, I said, "Wicca". At first he seemed respectful enough, he didn't condemn me to hell or fire up the stake, there was no torches either, he said he had a friend who was also Wiccan. Though as we continued to converse, I could tell he was pushing it. He wasn't rude, though he was beginning to lean towards being a "pusher". He thanked me for not being rude either. I let him know that I'm very open to people's point of views. Though I can think of a few friends who wouldn't have been so tolerant and patient. My friend whom was sitting next to me, wasn't really paying attention, but that's just her, she didn't really want to talk to him. She also made it clear that she was an Atheist. We went on a debate me and her on how she couldn't believe in anything. As we continued to converse the man started telling me to think about it. As in think about converting? See I knew this would happen. I told him nicely that I believe in balance, nature, in a god and goddess. I believe in equals. He then told me something that made me re-think my patience and tolerance "The Devil created different religions to distract you from the true path." I stayed quiet for a moment, keeping my cool. Though something in my posture must have given away something because a man that was also there listening told him, "Well I think they've heard enough for now, just let them think it over." The man preaching at me had gotten closer than he was before, almost in my face, so maybe that also gave way. The man, who had been telling me all about God, said "Hey, I'm just trying to spread the word, I want you to find your way." Then said something around the lines of 'Because the day is coming, and you have to think about the after life, about going to heaven. I'm good I'm already saved.' This man had resorted to the fear tactic. See, no offense to any Christians out there, this is why I avoid talking to most Christians. I just can't, there's no way to reason with them. they believe its just their word that counts. That's so unfair. Again, no offense intended honestly, and I know not all Christians are like this, but don't lie and say you don't know at least one who has behaved in this manner? 

Religion just seems to be everywhere lately, what I mean is it has been popping out more to me. Maybe since I'm studying World History right now and we're learning about Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. Which I'm really impressed, a little insight goes a long way. I really enjoy my History class. My professor is great too! A couple weeks ago we were going around the class sharing five primary resources, that we personally feel identify us. I came up with my five, which were: My journals, my ipod, my pooh bear(don't judge me!), a picture of my great grandparents, and a business card from a witch craft store. When I went on to explain and I said I was Wiccan, I could just feel the eyes in the room looking at me with oddness ?and the vibes in general were off. Though my professor was totally cool, and nodded saying she knows of the religion, totally nonchalant, the girl next to me faked being in fear then laughed it off. I thought it was so amazing how you can just be open and not be judged. The girl that was next to me is Jewish, she had just finished telling me the signification of her rings, and how important being a Jew is to her. I could tell that her faith, her religion mattered to her, honestly that was so refreshing. I love diversity, I love it more when people are so open and accepting. I love learning about different religions and gaining insight from others on their beliefs, it truly is just so fascinating. Yet there are still those who insist in trying to sway you into their religion. I say whether you believe or don't believe, as long as you believe in doing good, and spreading only good and positiveness, that's all that matters. Be good. Stay true.

Blessed be.

Apologies for My Lack of Entries

So apparently I overestimated my availability for being able to blog. I haven't forgotten about you! Just need time to come up with something to talk about :) I already have a good avice column set but I'd like to start with an article on something but I'll see what ever flows with me. I will update with more later on!
Blessed be! :)

Stop the World

Just for a moment
let me walk away from all this
away from stress
the lingering thoughts
the never ending hurt 
Just for a moment
allow me bliss
maybe go back to Sunday's kiss
though that wont solve my problems
that's what brings me to this
this mess, this distress
unresolved issues, unclaimed emotions
easily disregarding actions
then left with all of it 
left with all those painful memories..
Just for a moment
let me fall asleep
fall into a never ending dream
where my fantasies are my only realities
and my living nightmare becomes only a bad dream
a place where happiness isn't robbed
smiles aren't judged 
a place where its not wrong to let your guard down
a place you no longer have to fear
nor fear to love or be loved.
Just for a moment.
                                                                                                                                                           2014