A Beautiful Morning

I had one of the most wonderful experiences this morning... it started off bad but I managed to turn it into something positive. It was 2 am and I didn't have a ride back from work, and I didn't really want to ask anyone for any favors,  so frustrated with my situation, I cried. I cried until it was out of my system. Then I stayed in silence for a while, accepted my situation and decided to deal with it. And I did!  I handled my shit like a boss.  I waited till 6 am when there started to be some daylight and I walked it all the way home! It was about 2 hours but it was so worth it. I wasn't really sure how to get home or which way to go, but I found my way by remembering where my mom drives by on the daily.  It was such a lovely walk, made me feel so grateful.  It was really cold but I managed to push through. I pepped talked myself through the whole thing. I felt so self sufficient and independent. I was loving this spontaneous morning walk. It was so nice to see the sun start to come into view, see the people leaving for work, starting their mornings, walking their dogs, and just living. It was all so harmonious. I finally made it home and wasn't even mad or upset anymore. It was so refreshing. It's up to us to take what we get and turn it into something positive. There I was one moment feeling so frustrated and in this negative place, and then I was out and about, my face numb from the cold, but I was smiling, many things happen for a reason, and it felt so nice to walk from mission valley to my home in city heights. I felt so grateful, and so empowered, so in control. It was such a refreshing feeling and I loved it. I loved even more how well I handled it all. Sure I cried initially but I do that, I'm an emotional human being, I may not be sensitive but shit takes a toll on me sometimes, but expressing emotion is so good. It's like expunging out the negative bullshit that's holding you back and after sitting there for a bit, accepting the situation in which we are in and doing something about it. I made up my mind to wait, I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it, and nothing feels better than seeing your determination through. It came to be one of the best mornings I have ever encountered, which lead to a pretty good day. I feel blessed. 

J. A. Burgundy 

December 2015