I Don't Hate You

I don't hate you 
Not anymore

I think of you, 

and I don't feel anger anymore

I see you, 

and I feel saddened 
Saddened by everything we've gone through

I look at you after so long

There's dark circles surrounding your eyes

Your skin so pale almost white

You bring that death stick up to your lips

You inhale and blow it in my face

Yet no matter how much you try

I can still see you wanna cry

Behind that cloud of smoke you try to hide

But I know you too well

You do admit to still loving me

You say that you miss me 

Then you smile and laugh

I can't help but remember how much I loved you

You get serious again

I can't stop looking at you

I look down to your hand

It's still there and I ask

"Why haven't you covered it up?"

The heart inked in your skin 

It embraces the letters inside

The letters that honored me

You stutter and hesitate

"I haven't had the time"

Lie. 

Tears form in my eyes

I don't hate you 
Not anymore..

I'm just saddened about what was 

and what couldn't be

The illusion of you and me

You hate me

For ending things

and for that I am sorry

But we were always meant to be a beautiful tragedy

J. A. Burgundy

December 2015